Anxious Attachment in a First Relationship: What to Do
Answered 18 September 2026 at 8:24 pm PKT
A first relationship can bring up intense fears of rejection, abandonment, and losing yourself. This page explains anxious attachment, ways to regain calm and communicate, and when to seek support in Pakistan.
I have serious anxious attachment issues and it's running my peace. I'm 20 and js got into a first relationship. What do i do. I'm loosing my mind
Yeh sach mein mushkil hai. Jab aap pehli baar kisi ke saath hote hain aur attachment anxiety aapko chain nahi deti, to dimaag ka control karna bahut mushkil ho jata hai. Aap akela nahi hain – yeh feeling bohot logon ko hoti hai, especially first relationship mein, jab aap nahi jaante ke cheezein kaise chalni chahiye. Iska matlab yeh nahi ke aap mein koi kami hai; iska matlab yeh hai ke aapka dimaag purani aadat se bachao kar raha hai. Theek karne ke liye kuch chhoti cheezein hain jo aap abhi try kar sakte hain.
What you can try
Apne partner se baat karein – sach much ki baat. Bata dein ke aap anxious ho rahe hain, aur yeh aapki pehli relationship hai. Unhein yeh nahi pata jab tak aap nahi batayenge. Yeh bold step hai, lekin rishta isi se strong hota hai.
Jab anxiety aaye, apne aap ko ek minute ka time dein – saans lein, dekhein ke kya dar aa raha hai. Aksar dar wahi hota hai jo sach nahi hai: "woh mujhe chhod denge", "main kuch galat kar rahi hoon". Bas dekhein, us se ladne ki zaroorat nahi.
Apni routine ka khayal rakhein – dost, padhai, apne shauq. Agar aap poora focus sirf partner par rakhoge, to anxiety aur badhegi. Thoda apne liye bhi waqt hona chahiye.
Soch ke pattern ko likhein – ek notebook mein likhein ke jab anxiety aati hai to kya soch aati hai. Phir uske neeche likhein ke "yeh soch sach hai ya sirf dar?" Yeh aapko dimaag ko control karne mein madad karega.
Sabse zaroori baat: yeh feelings aapko define nahi karti. Aap ek insaan hain jo seekh raha hai – aur relationship seekhne ki jagah hai. Zara se baat karein agar aur chahiye, woh yahan hai.
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