Nida, it's completely natural to feel this profound sense of loss and constant ache when your son, especially your only son, moves abroad permanently. Even though you know he is happy, your feelings are real and valid, like a form of grief for the daily presence and routine you shared.
This feeling is not a sign that you aren't happy for your son's success, but rather a testament to the deep love and connection you share. Many mothers in Pakistan experience similar emotions when their children move away, feeling a significant void in their lives. It's okay to acknowledge this pain and give yourself time to adjust to this big change.
One practical step you can take is to establish new ways of staying connected that feel meaningful. Beyond just phone calls, try regular video calls where you can see each other's faces and share small details about your day, like what you cooked or a funny incident. You could even read the same book and discuss it, or share photos of your daily life, making him feel a part of your world and you a part of his.
Consider rediscovering hobbies or interests you may have set aside over the years, or even exploring new ones. Perhaps there was a craft you enjoyed, a skill you wanted to learn, or a type of book you loved to read. Engaging in activities that bring you personal joy and a sense of purpose can help fill some of the space left by your son's absence and give you something to look forward to each day.
It can also be incredibly helpful to connect with friends or family members, especially other mothers who might have gone through similar experiences. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can lighten the burden, and you might find comfort and understanding in their stories. You don't have to carry this feeling alone; sometimes just talking about it openly can make a big difference.
Try creating new routines and rituals for yourself. This might involve setting aside a specific time each day for a walk in a park, visiting a local market, or spending more time with other relatives or neighbours. Establishing a new rhythm in your daily life can provide structure and a sense of normalcy, helping you to build a fulfilling life that also includes your son's happiness abroad.
Remember that adjusting to such a significant life change takes time and patience. There will be good days and challenging days, and that is perfectly normal. Be kind to yourself through this process, acknowledging your feelings without judgment. Gradually, you will find a new balance and a way to carry your love for your son while also nurturing your own well-being.
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