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Coping with Family Taunts and No Time for Yourself

Asked by Fatima, 42, Multan · 7 February 2025 at 1:47 am PKT

Fatima, it sounds like you are carrying a heavy load right now, feeling overwhelmed by family dynamics, chores, and childcare without any time for yourself. Many women in joint families face similar challenges, and it's completely normal to feel irritable and exhausted when you're constantly under pressure.

Joint family mein saas aur nand ke taano se bohot stress ho gaya hai. Ghar ke kaam aur bachon ke beech khud ke liye waqt hi nahi milta. Har waqt chirchiri rehti hoon, iska koi hal hai?

Fatima, aap akeli nahi hain jo joint family mein saas aur nand ke taano se pareshan hain aur khud ke liye waqt nahi nikal paati. Jab har waqt kaam aur zimmedariyon mein ghira rehna pade aur upar se aisi baatein sunni padein, toh chirchiraahat hona bilkul fitri baat hai. Yeh ehsaas ke aapka bojh koi nahi samajhta, bohot takleef-deh ho sakta hai.

Pehle taano ki baat karte hain. Aksar hum doosron ki baaton ko dil par le lete hain, lekin yaad rakhein, unki baatein unki apni soch aur masle ka nateeja hain, aapki nahi. Jab koi kuch kahe, toh aik lamhe ke liye ruk kar gehri saans lein. Apne zehan mein ek deewar banayein jo unki baaton ko aap tak poori tarah na pohanchnay de. Yeh kehna aasaan hai, magar practice se aap apni reactions ko control karna seekh sakti hain.

Apne liye waqt nikalna bohot zaroori hai, bhale hi woh chand minute hi kyun na hon. Poora ghanta shayad mushkil ho, lekin kya aap din mein 5-10 minute apne liye nikal sakti hain? Ho sakta hai subah ki chai akele peena, ya namaz ke baad chand minutes thehrao mein guzarna. Ye chote waqfe aapko apni saanson par gaur karne aur thoda sukoon mahsoos karne mein madad denge.

Ghar ke kaam aur bachon ki zimmedari bohot zyada hoti hai. Kya aap apne shohar se ya ghar ke kisi aur fard se thodi madad maang sakti hain, bhale hi woh chote kaam hi kyun na hon? Jaise bachon ko kuch der ke liye dekhna ya kisi ek kaam mein haath batana. Agar bade madad nahi karte, toh bachon ko unki umar ke hisab se chote mote kaam mein shamil karein – jaise khilaune uthana ya apni cheezein theek karna. Isse aapka bojh thoda kam hoga aur bachon mein zimmedari ka ehsaas bhi paida hoga.

Chirchiraahat aur stress ko kam karne ke liye jism ko harkat mein lana bhi bohot mufeed hota hai. Chahe woh ghar ke andar hi thodi der tehalna ho, ya kuch choti si streching exercises karna. Apne din mein 10-15 minute ki koi bhi physical activity shaamil karne ki koshish karein. Isse aapke jism mein 'feel-good' hormones release hote hain jo aapke mood ko behtar banane mein madad karte hain.

Kabhi kabhi humein apni hadood (boundaries) tay karna bhi zaroori hota hai, bhale hi woh bol kar na hon. Agar aapko lagta hai ke kisi khaas waqt mein aapko sukoon chahiye, toh us waqt apni kamre mein thoda waqt guzarein ya koi kitab parh lein. Apne aap ko har waqt har kisi ke liye available na samjhein. Apni energy ko bachana aur khud ko pehle rakhna ghair-zimmedari nahi, balkay zaroori hai taake aap dusron ka khayal behtar tareeqe se rakh sakein.

Yaad rakhein, aapki zehni aur jismani sehat sab se pehle hai. Jab aap theek hongi, tabhi aap apne bachon aur ghar walon ka behtar khayal rakh sakengi. Chote chote qadam uthayein aur dekhein ke kaise aap apne liye behtar mahol bana sakti hain. Aap yeh kar sakti hain.

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