It's incredibly frustrating when you're struggling with low feelings and your partner doesn't seem to understand. Many people in Pakistan face similar challenges, where mental health is often misunderstood.
Mehwish, it takes immense courage to open up about how you're feeling, and it's incredibly tough when your partner dismisses your pain. In Pakistan, it's common for mental health struggles to be seen as a lack of strength or faith, especially by men who might not have been taught how to talk about difficult emotions.
It's important to remember that depression is a real illness, not a choice or a weakness, and it affects your brain chemistry. Just like you can't 'be strong' to fix a fever or a broken arm, you can't simply will yourself out of depression. It's a medical condition that needs understanding and often, specific support.
When you talk to your husband again, try describing *how* you feel rather than using the word 'depression.' You could say, 'I feel constantly exhausted, even after sleeping,' or 'My mind feels heavy, and it's hard to find joy in anything anymore.' Explain how it affects your energy, your sleep, or your ability to focus on daily tasks.
Help him understand the practical impact on your shared life. For example, 'I want to be more present for you and the children, but this heavy feeling stops me from being the wife and mother I want to be.' Frame it as wanting to get better so you can fully participate in family life again. This might resonate more than simply saying 'I need help for myself'.
Perhaps suggest a visit to a general doctor (GP) together. Many people feel more comfortable starting there. The doctor can explain that these feelings are real and often have physical roots, making it less like a 'mental' issue and more like a health problem. This might help him see it as a medical concern, not a character flaw.
It might take time for him to fully grasp what you're going through, and that's okay. Keep sharing your feelings gently but persistently, focusing on how you feel rather than labeling it. In the meantime, focus on small steps you can take for yourself, like a short walk, talking to a trusted friend, or engaging in a simple hobby you once enjoyed, even if it feels difficult at first.
Your feelings are valid, and seeking understanding is a sign of immense strength, not weakness. Keep communicating, be patient, and remember that you deserve to feel better and receive the support you need.
Names and cities shown here are examples. Every question is published anonymously — we never ask for, store or show the name, city or contact details of the person who wrote it.
You don't have to work this out from an article. We're free, private, and here right now — in English, Urdu or Roman Urdu. No signup, no waiting, no judgement.
Other questions people asked about the same thing, answered the same way.