Feeling constantly criticised, especially in your own home, can be incredibly painful and make you doubt yourself. Ayesha, what you're experiencing is real and many people living in joint families in Pakistan can relate to feeling like they're never quite good enough.
Ayesha, it sounds incredibly hurtful to be taunted by your sasural, especially when you're working hard and contributing to the household. It's important for you to know that this feeling of 'not being good enough' is not your fault; it's a natural response to being consistently undervalued by others.
When people constantly pick on you and focus on your perceived flaws, it can slowly erode your self-confidence and make you question your own worth. It starts to feel like their opinions are the truth, even when deep down you know it's unfair. This can make you feel lost and unsure of yourself, which is exactly what you're describing.
The first step is to gently shift your focus from what others say to what *you* know about yourself. Take a few minutes each day, perhaps when you're alone, to think about your own strengths and good qualities. What are you good at? What acts of kindness have you done? What do you value in yourself, independent of what anyone else thinks? Even small things count, like your patience, your hard work, or your ability to handle difficult situations.
Next, try to create small, mental boundaries against the negativity. You can't control what others say, but you can choose how much space their words take up in your mind. When a taunt comes, instead of letting it sink in, acknowledge it briefly in your mind and then consciously let it go. You can imagine their words bouncing off a shield, or simply tell yourself, 'This is their opinion, not my truth.' Sometimes, a simple 'jee theek hai' or 'acha' without further engagement can be a powerful way to end a conversation and protect your energy.
It's also very helpful to connect with someone you trust deeply, like a sister, a cousin, or a close friend outside the sasural. Share what you're going through with them. Having just one person who listens and validates your feelings can make a huge difference in how you see yourself. They can remind you of your worth when you start to forget it.
Finally, try to carve out even five or ten minutes each day for something that brings *you* a small amount of peace or joy. This could be listening to your favourite song, reading a page from a book, drinking a warm cup of chai quietly, or just sitting in silence. These small acts of self-care are not selfish; they are essential for rebuilding your inner strength and reminding yourself that you matter.
Remember, Ayesha, your worth is not determined by someone else's opinion or how perfectly you perform household chores. You are inherently worthy, and you deserve to feel good about yourself.
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