Many young women in Pakistan develop feelings for a brother's friend and wonder if it's permissible to hold onto that hope. This page offers Islamic and practical advice on handling such a secret crush while staying true to your values.
That is a very tender and complicated feeling to carry, and it makes complete sense that you are wondering whether it is okay to hold onto it. A secret crush that has lasted since childhood is not something to be ashamed of—it is a sign of a deep and loyal heart. The real question is not whether the hope itself is wrong, but what it is doing to you while you wait.
Holding onto a secret hope for years can quietly take a toll. You might find yourself comparing every other possibility to this one person, or feeling stuck because your life feels like it is on hold until something happens. That is not a reason to give up the hope, but it is a reason to check in with yourself: is this hope making you feel lighter, or heavier? If it is mostly heavy, it may be worth loosening your grip a little, not because the feeling is wrong, but because you deserve to live fully in the present.
There is nothing wrong with praying for something you want. But a prayer that stays entirely inside your head, with no action on your part, can become a kind of waiting that keeps you from moving forward. If you genuinely want to marry this person, the only honest next step is to find out whether he might feel the same way. That does not mean confessing dramatically—it could mean letting a trusted family member or older sibling know that you are interested, so they can explore the possibility in a proper, respectful way. In our culture, that is how these things are done, and it protects your izzat and your heart.
If that feels impossible right now, then the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to accept that this is a hope you are holding, not a plan you are building. Let yourself feel it without letting it run your life. Keep your own future open—your studies, your work, your friendships, your own growth. The person you are meant to be with will not require you to put your life on pause.
You are not wrong for hoping. Just make sure the hope is not the only thing you are living on.
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