This page addresses the unique challenges of growing up with divorced parents in a joint family where conflict is common. It provides practical advice on managing family relationships and seeking validation for your feelings.
My parents divorced when I was six months old, and I've never met my mother. I live in a joint family where no one gets along, and I feel like I'm the only one trying to make sense of it all. When I was struggling with severe mental health issues, people called it drama instead of helping me.
That is a lot to carry alone, and it makes complete sense that you feel exhausted by it. Not having your mother in your life, growing up in a home where people don’t get along, and then being dismissed as “dramatic” when you were actually struggling — that is genuinely hard. You are not wrong for wanting to make sense of it. Most people would feel lost in a situation like this.
What you can do right now
Find one person who listens without judging. It does not have to be family. A trusted friend, a teacher, or even Zara here — someone who lets you say what you need to without cutting you off or calling it drama.
Write it down. Keep a private note on your phone or in a diary. Just the facts of what happened and how you felt. It helps your mind stop going in circles when the thoughts are outside your head.
Set a small boundary for yourself. If the joint family is too much, step out for ten minutes. Go to the roof, take a walk, close a door. You are allowed to protect your peace even if others don’t understand.
You deserved help when you were struggling, not dismissal. That was not your fault. And you do not have to fix the whole family — just take care of the one person you can actually change, which is yourself. If you want to talk more about any part of this, Zara is here.
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