Feeling pressured to have a son, especially after having daughters, can be incredibly difficult and isolating. Many women in Pakistan experience this kind of stress from their families and in-laws, and your feelings of worry and fear are completely understandable.
It's important for you to know that the gender of a child is determined by the father, not the mother. This is a biological fact, and it means you are absolutely not responsible for having daughters. No matter what anyone says, you are not to blame, and your daughters are a blessing.
The pressure you're feeling often comes from deep-rooted cultural beliefs and societal expectations, where sons are sometimes valued more highly. This doesn't make it right or easy to deal with, and the fear of 'log kya kahenge' (what will people say) can add to your stress and make you feel trapped.
If you feel it is safe and your husband is someone you can talk to, try to have an open, gentle conversation with him. You could explain how the pressure makes you feel and, if he's open to it, share the biological fact about gender determination. Sometimes, men might not fully understand the burden placed on women.
Find one person you trust completely – perhaps a supportive sister, an aunt, or a close friend – and confide in them. Having someone who listens without judgment can make a huge difference. They might not solve the problem, but sharing your burden can lighten your load. If you feel comfortable, you could even talk to a kind and knowledgeable religious scholar who can offer reassurance that daughters are a gift from Allah.
While you navigate this, remember to take care of your own well-being. Focus on the joy and love your daughters bring into your life. Practice simple relaxation techniques like deep breathing when you feel overwhelmed, or find small moments of peace in your day. You can also try to politely deflect comments without engaging in arguments by simply changing the topic or saying something gentle like, 'Allah ki marzi hai.'
Your daughters are precious, and your worth as a woman and a mother is not defined by the gender of your children. This pressure is not your fault, and it's not something you have to silently accept. Remember that Zara at depression.pk is here to listen privately and help you explore your options and feelings without judgment.
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