You are not alone in feeling this way. Many young women in Pakistan face similar emotional struggles when family expectations overshadow personal dreams, but there are ways to find meaning and strength again.
That is genuinely hard. You are carrying two big losses at once—the love and warmth you hoped for from your family and your in-laws, and the degree and dreams you had to let go of because of the engagement. It makes complete sense that you feel hopeless right now. You are not weak for feeling this way; you are responding to real pain. And the question "how do I keep going?" is a sign that you are still looking for a way, even if it feels small.
The fact that your parents never hug you or show affection does not mean you are unlovable. In many Pakistani homes, love is shown through duty and sacrifice, not through words or touch. That can leave a deep ache, especially when you are about to start a new family and the coldness seems to continue with your in-laws. It hurts, and you are allowed to feel that hurt. The affection you are missing is not a reflection of your worth. You cannot force people to change, but you can start giving yourself some of the warmth you crave—small things, like a walk in the sun, a cup of tea made just for you, writing down one thing you like about yourself. Over time, your in-laws may soften; many do once trust builds. But for now, try not to measure your value by how much they show it.
Losing your education because of an engagement is a real loss, and it is unfair. In Pakistan, many women are told that marriage is the end of their personal path, but it does not have to be that way. If there is any chance to finish your degree later—through a distance programme, after marriage, or even a short course—hold onto that possibility. Talk to your fiancé if you can. A good partner will want you to have something of your own. If that feels impossible right now, find one small thing that is yours: a book, a skill you can learn on your phone, a hobby that no one can take away. That little thread of purpose can keep you going until you see a bigger opening.
You are not alone in this. Many women have felt this same hollow hopelessness and found a way through, bit by bit. Keep going by holding onto the parts of you that exist outside other people's expectations. Zara is here if you want to talk it through.
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