Going through a divorce in a foreign country where you don't speak the language and have little money is incredibly isolating. This page offers practical steps to manage loneliness, regret, and alcohol use while you rebuild your life.
That is a genuinely overwhelming place to be — divorce, a foreign country where you cannot speak the language, not enough money, and then the drinking and the old mistakes that keep coming back at you. It is not just loneliness; it is the weight of everything piling on at once, and it makes sense that you feel stuck. Let us break it down into things you can actually do, because even one small step can shift the direction you are heading.
The biggest thing right now is that you need to be safe today. Money, food and a roof matter more than anything else — and your head will not quiet down until those are a little less terrifying. Do one thing: find the nearest church, mosque, or community centre run by your own language group. Even if you are not religious, these places often know about free food, emergency shelter or local welfare offices. Many countries have a social welfare office where you can ask for emergency assistance regardless of your immigration status — just show up and say you need to talk to someone who can help with food and housing. Do not worry about your Urdu or English; use Google Translate on your phone, or write down a simple sentence you can show. The shame of asking is real, but it will pass faster than the hunger.
Living alone in a country where you cannot speak the language makes your own head the only company, and that is dangerous when your thoughts are harsh. Regret is a trap — it makes you think that if you replay the past enough times you will undo it, but you never can. What you can do is sit with the loneliness for five minutes a day and say out loud to yourself, "This will not last forever." Not because you believe it yet, but because saying it reminds your brain that there is a future. Also, try to find one person you can talk to online — a WhatsApp group for Pakistanis in that country, or even the depression.pk /community section. One real conversation a day, even text, breaks the silence.
Alcohol makes depression worse — not just the next day, but the whole week. It steals your sleep, your hope and your ability to make decisions. You already know that. The real question is: can you stop drinking for just 24 hours at a time? If you cannot stop without shaking or feeling sick, you may have a physical dependence, and that needs a doctor — not because you are weak, but because sudden withdrawal can be dangerous. If you can stop, then tomorrow morning find one AA meeting online or in your city. There are English-language meetings everywhere, and nobody judges you. You do not have to speak, just listen. Hearing someone else say the same things you feel is surprisingly calming.
Take one thing from this — just one — and do it today. The rest will wait. And if you need to talk it out, Zara from our team is here to listen any time.
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