Kinza, it sounds like you're carrying a heavy load of worries about what's next in your life. Many young people your age feel this same anxiety about jobs, marriage, and finding their path.
It's completely normal to feel anxious about the future, especially when you're 20. In Pakistan, there's often a lot of pressure from society and family about finding a good job and getting married, and these thoughts can easily become overwhelming and make you feel stuck.
Instead of letting these big 'what ifs' consume you, try to break down your worries into smaller, more manageable pieces. Focus on what you can do today or this week, rather than trying to solve your entire future all at once. What is one small step you can take right now towards a goal?
For example, if a job is on your mind, think about a small skill you can learn or improve that might help you later. Maybe it's practicing English, trying a free online course, or even just reading articles related to a field you're interested in. Taking small, practical steps can help you feel more capable and less helpless.
Sometimes, just talking about these worries can make a huge difference. Find a trusted friend, a cousin, or an older sister or aunt (phupho, khala) who you feel safe sharing with. You don't need them to solve anything, just to listen and understand what you're going through without judgment.
Another helpful technique is to designate a 'worry time' each day, maybe 15-20 minutes. During this time, you allow yourself to think about all your concerns. But once that time is over, try your best to gently redirect your thoughts when they pop up again, reminding yourself you'll address them during your next worry time.
Don't forget the basics of taking care of yourself. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating reasonably well, and finding some time for activities you enjoy, even if it's just listening to music or going for a short walk. These things might seem small, but they really help manage stress and clear your mind.
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