Missing your family when you're far from home is incredibly tough, and it's completely normal for these feelings to affect your sleep. Many people living abroad experience exactly what you're going through, especially when time differences make connecting difficult.
It sounds like you're carrying a heavy heart, Maria, and it's understandable that your mind goes to Pakistan and your loved ones when you're trying to rest. Those late-night thoughts and longing can make it feel impossible to switch off and get the sleep you need.
First, try to establish a calming bedtime routine. About an hour before you want to sleep, put away your phone and computer. Instead, try reading a light book, listening to soothing music, or taking a warm bath. A cup of herbal tea can also be a comforting ritual to signal to your body that it's time to wind down.
Since real-time calls are tricky with the time difference, get creative with how you connect. Try sending voice notes or short videos throughout your day – share a funny moment, what you're cooking, or just say 'I'm thinking of you.' Your family can listen and reply whenever it suits them, and it helps you feel less alone.
It can also help to create a little bit of 'home' where you are. Look for local Pakistani or South Asian community groups, a restaurant that serves familiar food, or even just a park that reminds you of home. Finding people who understand your culture and experiences can offer a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation.
When thoughts of home become overwhelming at night, try a simple grounding exercise. Focus on your breathing: breathe in slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Or, name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This can help bring your mind back to the present moment.
During the day, make sure you're getting some physical activity, even if it's just a brisk walk. Sunlight exposure in the mornings can also regulate your sleep cycle. A tired body usually sleeps better, and a consistent daytime routine can help you feel more settled and less prone to late-night worries.
Remember to be kind to yourself through this. Adjusting to a new country and missing your family is a huge challenge, and it's okay to feel sad. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions, but also empower yourself with small steps each day to nurture your well-being and get the rest you deserve.
Names and cities shown here are examples. Every question is published anonymously — we never ask for, store or show the name, city or contact details of the person who wrote it.
You don't have to work this out from an article. We're free, private, and here right now — in English, Urdu or Roman Urdu. No signup, no waiting, no judgement.
Other questions people asked about the same thing, answered the same way.