Hamesha sab ki marzi par chalna aur apni khwahishat ko peechay rakhna aik bohot mushkil ehsas ho sakta hai, aur phir baad mein khud ko bura lagna bhi aam baat hai. Aap akeli nahi hain jo aisa mehsoos karti hain, aur aap ki feelings bilkul sahi hain.
Sehrish, aap ka yeh ehsas ke log aap ko istemal kar rahay hain aur aap apni marzi nahi kar paatin, bilkul jaiz hai. Bohat si khawateen, khaas kar hamaray muashray mein, is mushkil se guzarti hain jahan unhe hamesha doosron ko khush rakhna sikhaya jata hai, chahe is mein unki apni khushi shamil na ho.
Boundaries ya hudood set karna asal mein khud ki hifazat karna hai. Yeh aap ke waqt, energy, aur ehsasat ko doosron ki demands se bachana hai. Is ka matlab yeh nahi ke aap khudgarz ho jaen, balkay is ka matlab hai ke aap apni zarooraton ko bhi utni hi ahmiyat dain jitni doosron ki zarooraton ko deti hain.
Hamein aksar darr lagta hai ke agar hum 'na' kahen ge to log bura maan jaen ge ya 'log kya kahenge'. Lekin yaad rakhiye, jo log aap ki qadar karte hain, woh aap ki hadood ka bhi ehtram karenge. Shuru mein yeh mushkil lag sakta hai, lekin yeh aap ki zehni sehat ke liye bohot zaroori hai.
Aap shuruat choti choti cheezon se kar sakti hain. Jab koi aap se koi aisi cheez mangay jo aap nahi karna chahtin, to foran 'haan' kehne ke bajaye, aik lamhe ke liye ruken aur sochen. Phir aap sirf itna keh sakti hain, 'Mujhe thoda sochnay do' ya 'Mai aap ko thodi der mein batati hoon'. Yeh aap ko waqt dega faisla karne ka.
Apne 'na' ko naram tareeqay se kehna seekhen. Aap ko koi lambi safai dene ki zaroorat nahi. Aap keh sakti hain, 'Mai aaj yeh nahi kar sakti' ya 'Aaj mere paas waqt nahi hai'. Ya phir, 'Mujhe yeh karna mushkil lag raha hai'. Jab aap apni zaroorat ko batati hain to yeh zyada asar-andaaz hota hai.
Yeh aik aahista aahista seekhne ka amal hai. Shuru mein shayad aap ko ghabrahat ho, aur ho sakta hai ke kuch log aap ke badlav ko pasand na karein. Lekin aap apne liye khari ho rahi hain, aur yeh aik mazboot aur sehatmand rishte ki bunyad hai. Apni qadar karna seekhen, aur doosre bhi aap ki qadar karna seekh jaen ge.
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