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Teen Engagement in Pakistan: Feeling Trapped and Wanting Freedom

Answered 19 October 2026 at 11:43 pm PKT

If you're a teenager who's been engaged young and feels trapped, you're not alone. This page helps you understand your feelings and find ways to advocate for your future.

I'm a teenager and I've been engaged very young. I don't want to get married, I want freedom to live my own life. Everyone around me thinks it's great but I feel trapped and alone.

That sounds suffocating, and it makes sense that you feel alone in it. When everyone around you is celebrating something that feels like a cage to you, the mismatch is genuinely hard. You are not wrong to want freedom and a life that is yours to decide — that is normal for your age, and the fact that you can name it matters.

Here is what might help right now.

Start by naming what you need

You said you want freedom to live your own life. That could mean different things — more time to study, a career, travel, the choice of who and when to marry, or simply not being pushed into a role before you are ready. Try to get clear on the one or two things that matter most to you, just for yourself. You do not have to convince anyone yet. Just know what you are asking for.

Find one person you can trust

Not everyone in your world will be against you. Is there an older sibling, a cousin, a teacher, or even a sympathetic aunt or uncle who might listen without immediately telling you to accept? If you can find one person who will hear you out, that can break the isolation. You do not need to tell everyone. One ally can make a difference.

Consider a quiet way to buy time

You might say something like: "I am too young to manage a home and future family. Let me at least finish my education and then we will talk again." In many families, that is a reasonable request — it sounds responsible rather than rebellious. It gives you space to grow older and stronger, and it lets you revisit the engagement when you have more say.

If you are in immediate fear or pressure

If you think the wedding will happen very soon or if you are being forced, you do need help. The most important thing is your safety. You can reach out to Zara on depression.pk — she is a companion from our team, here to talk through your options without judging you. You can also speak to a school counsellor or a helpline like the Madadgar helpline (but do not call if it is not safe on your phone). Keep a small bag ready with essentials in case you need to leave quickly. You are not betraying your family by protecting yourself.

This is not an easy situation, and it will probably take time and patience. But you are not wrong to want a life that is yours. You can take it step by step, and you do not have to figure it out alone.

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Answered by the Depression.pk team
A free mental-health service for Pakistan. Reviewed for safety before publication.
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