When He Appreciates Other Women But Not You

Assalamualaikum. Aapki baat sunke lagta hai ki aap bahut samajhdar aur mehsoos karne wali hain. Shadi ke baad aisi cheezein jab khul ke aati hain, toh woh dard aur ghabraahat samajh mein aati hai. Aapki insecurity aur anxiety ka ek badi wajah hai ki aap apne aap ko hisaab se kam samajh rahi hain, aur phir us husband ki side se aane wali ek baat, jaise ki "moti" ya "gendi", us cheez ko aur bhi zyada dard deti hai.

Aapne do badi mushkil batayi hain, jinhe hum alag alag samjhenge.

Woh cheezein jo aapko dard deti hain, unko samajhna

Pehli baat, aapka husband apni "nature" ke baare mein baat karta hai, jaise ki woh doosron ke saath bhi aise hi behave karta hai. Lekin ek shadi mein, jo cheezein partner ke saath kehli jaati hain, woh doosron ke saath kehne se alag hoti hain. Uske fair-complexed girls ki side ki appreciation, aur phir aapko "moti" kehna, ek tarah ki disrespect hai. Yeh aapki feelings ko ignore karna hai. Aapki sensitivity ko "too sensitive" kehne ki jagah, us cheez ko accept karna chahiye tha.

Dusri baat, uski past relationships aur ongoing connections with other girls. Ek shadi ke baad, ek partner ki past se itna jhootna aur uske present mein dosron ke sath itna time spend karna, ek trust issue ka saboot hai. Aapki feelings of jealousy aur insecurity ko completely invalid nahi kiya ja sakta. Aapki baat theek hai ki yeh aapki mental health par negative impact kar rahi hai.

Kya kya kiya ja sakta hai? Ek shuruat

Sabse pehle, aapko apne aap par yaqeen karna hai. Aapne khud hi kaha ki Allah ne aapko perfect banaya hai. Us pehle yaqeen ke baad, aapko apni self-worth ko apne husband ki opinion se juda karna hai. Aapki value aapke husband ki side se nahi, aapke andar hai. Uske liye ek kadam hai:

• Apni kamyabiyan yaad karein: Aapki zindagi mein woh cheezein jo aapne achieve ki hain, chahe woh academic ho, ya kisi aur field mein. Unhein yaad karein aur khud ko recognize karein. Yeh aapko apne aap ko strong feel karane mein madad karega.

Ab, communication ki side:

• "I feel" statements ka istemal karein: Apne husband se ek baat karein, lekin us par daalne ki koshish karein. "Jab aap mujhe moti kehte hain, toh main feel karti hoon ki aap mujhe pasand nahi karte." Yeh uski "nature" ko challenge karega, lekin uski behavior ko criticize karega. Yeh ek shuruat hai.

• Apni limits set karein: Aapko pata hai ki uski side se baatein aur photos dekhna aapke liye harmful hain. Us cheez ko rokne ki koshish karein. "Main aapke phone nahi dekhungi" ek strong decision hai. Yeh aapki mental health ke liye zaroori hai.

Aur akhir mein, spiritual side:

• Dua karein: Apne husband ke liye, aur apne aap ke liye dua karein. Uske dil mein karam aur samajhdari ke liye dua karein. Aur apne dil mein ghamzadgi aur anxiety ke liye istighfar karein. Yeh ek powerful tool hai.

Aapki situation mushkil hai, aur usay kisi ek roz ka solve nahi ho jayega. Lekin chhote chhote kadam uthana shuru karein. Apne aap ko kisi bhi tarah ke self-blame mein daalne ki koshish nahi karein. Aap ek acchi wife ho, aur aapki feelings bhi valid hain.

Zara, aapki side mein hoon. Baat karein agar kuchh aur puchhna ho.