It sounds incredibly difficult and hurtful when your parents compare you to other kids, especially when you're trying your best. This feeling is very common, and you're absolutely right to feel 'bohot bura' when it happens.
Maryam, feeling sad or frustrated when your Ammi Abbu compare you to others is a completely natural response. Often, parents do this without realising how much it affects you; they might think they're motivating you or pushing you to do better, perhaps out of their own worries for your future, but it usually just feels like you're not good enough.
One thing you could try is to talk to them, perhaps to the parent you feel closer to. Pick a calm moment, not during an argument, and share how you feel using 'I' statements: 'Ammi, jab aap mujhe doosre bachon se compare karti hain, toh mujhe bohot dukh hota hai aur lagta hai jaise main kaafi nahi hoon.' Focus on your feelings, not on blaming them.
While it’s hard to ignore their words, try to remind yourself of your own unique strengths and achievements, no matter how small they seem. What are you good at? What makes you proud? Your journey is your own, and it doesn't need to look exactly like anyone else's or follow someone else's timeline.
When they start comparing, you can try to mentally detach. You don't have to absorb every word or let it define your worth. Sometimes, a simple, gentle response like 'Jee Ammi, main koshish kar rahi hoon' or 'Har kisi ka apna rasta hota hai' can help change the topic without confrontation, allowing you to move past it mentally.
It can also help to talk to another trusted elder, like a khala, phupho, or an older cousin, someone who understands your parents but can also support you. Sharing your feelings with someone who listens and offers a different perspective can lighten the burden and make you feel less alone.
Lastly, make sure you spend time on activities that genuinely make *you* happy and feel good about yourself, whether it's reading, a hobby, or spending time with supportive friends. This helps build your confidence from within, independent of external comparisons and reminds you of your own value.
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