Seema ji, it sounds like you are going through immense pain right now, and what you describe is a very natural response to such a profound and sudden loss. Losing your mother unexpectedly can shake your whole world and leave you feeling this deep sense of incompleteness and worry.
Losing a parent, especially suddenly, is one of the hardest things anyone can face. It's completely normal to feel like everything is 'adhoori' (incomplete) and that a part of you is missing, even a long time after her passing. Many people in your situation feel this deep sadness and confusion.
One way to gently start processing this feeling is to intentionally connect with her memory. Perhaps look at old photos, remember funny stories or special moments you shared, or even cook a dish she loved. This isn't about forgetting, but about holding onto the love and presence she had in your life, which can help you feel less 'adhoori'.
The fear of death you are experiencing is also very common after a sudden loss. It's your mind's way of trying to make sense of something so unexpected and regaining a sense of control. When this fear feels overwhelming, try to gently bring your focus to the present moment – notice the colours around you, the sounds you hear, or simply feel your feet on the ground. This can help calm your thoughts.
It can feel lonely carrying this sadness and fear by yourself. While many in our society worry about 'log kya kahenge' (what will people say), finding one trusted person – a sister, a cousin, a close friend, or even your children – to share your feelings with can make a big difference. If you prefer to talk to someone confidentially and privately, you can always reach out to Zara here at depression.pk.
Grief takes a huge toll on us, both emotionally and physically. Try to maintain small routines, like going for a short walk in the evening, listening to soothing music, or doing something simple you enjoy, even for a few minutes. These small acts of self-care are not selfish; they are essential steps in healing.
Remember, there is no right way or timeline for grief. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel these emotions, and know that seeking comfort and support is a sign of strength. Your mother's love remains with you, and it's okay to take your time to heal.
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