Trauma and neglect can leave deep emotional wounds, especially when they come from those closest to us. If you're feeling unheard and unvalued, you're not alone, and there are ways to cope and heal.
That is a lot to carry, and it makes complete sense that you feel uncared for. When the people closest to you overlook something that affects your daily life, and someone in authority keeps putting you down, it wears on you in a way that is genuinely hard. You are not overthinking this — those are real, painful things happening to you.
You are stuck between depending on your family and needing to work. That is a frustrating place to be. One approach is to take control of the thing you can control. If it is possible, ask the internet provider for a fixed bill or auto-pay through your own account, so that one person (you) is responsible and no one has to remember. If that is not possible, keep a small cash backup in your room and a list of nearby cafés or libraries that open early — even one reliable place you can sit for an hour takes the desperation out of waking up at night.
Being humiliated by a teacher, especially from the very first semester, is a kind of mistreatment that can make you feel small and invisible. It is not your fault. If there is a student advisor, department head, or trusted senior student you can speak to privately, that might stop the behaviour without you having to confront him directly. Some universities also have a complaint procedure for harassment — you are not being dramatic; this is about your right to learn in dignity. If reporting feels impossible right now, the most important thing is to remind yourself daily that his behaviour says something about him, not about your worth. You did not cause it, and you do not deserve it.
When both your family and your teacher seem to not see you, it is easy to believe no one cares. That belief hurts more than the internet or the humiliation. Do one thing: pick one person you know — a cousin, an old school friend, someone in the class who has been kind — and send them a very simple message. "I have been having a rough time. Can we talk for five minutes?" You might be surprised. And if that feels too heavy right now, Zara is here to talk as well, anytime you need. You are not alone in this, even when it feels that way.
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