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Coping with the Loss of Your Ammi

Answered 12 June 2025 at 1:24 am PKT

Nazia, we are truly sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. It is incredibly difficult to lose someone so central to your life, and your feelings of emptiness and sleeplessness are completely normal reactions to such a profound loss.

My mother passed away recently, and I feel so lost without her. Ghar khali khali lagta hai, aur raat ko neend nahi aati. How do I cope with this grief?

Please know that what you are feeling is valid, and you are not alone in this experience. Losing a mother leaves a unique void, and it’s natural for your home to feel different and for your mind to be restless, especially at night. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it takes time.

That 'empty home' feeling is particularly painful because your mother’s presence filled so many spaces. Try to slowly introduce small changes or new routines that feel comforting. Perhaps light a candle in the evenings, play some gentle recitations, or invite a close sibling or cousin over for tea. You could also spend some time looking at old photos or sharing stories about your mother with family members, allowing her memory to fill the space in a new, gentle way.

Sleep can be elusive when your mind is racing with thoughts and memories. Before bed, try to create a calming routine: a warm bath, listening to soothing recitations, or even just reading a light book. Avoid heavy meals or too much screen time late at night. Sometimes, simply writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal before sleeping can help quiet your mind a little, even if it is just for a short while.

It helps immensely to talk about your mother. Share your memories, both happy and sad, with a trusted family member or a close friend who knew her well. Don’t feel you have to be strong all the time; allowing yourself to express sorrow is part of healing. Many people find great comfort in offering duas for their departed loved ones, reciting parts of the Quran, or engaging in sadaqah jariyah in her name.

In your grief, it’s easy to neglect yourself, but even small acts of self-care can make a difference. Try to eat regular, simple meals, and take short walks outside for some fresh air. Remember that grief is not a linear process; some days will be harder than others, and that is okay. Be patient and kind to yourself through this journey.

Please remember you don't have to carry this burden alone. If you feel comfortable, reach out to a trusted elder in your family, an aunt, or a close friend who can offer a listening ear and support. Sometimes just having someone sit with you in silence can be a huge comfort. Allow yourself to lean on those who care about you.

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Answered by the Depression.pk team
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