Feeling Stuck After False Accusations from Coach and Server

That sounds genuinely awful. You went to boxing to get some relief, to have an outlet, and instead you walked into a situation where someone lied about you and the person you trusted to help you—your coach—just believed it. No chance to explain, no fairness. And on top of that, you’re carrying the weight of depression and those thoughts about not wanting to be here anymore. That is a very heavy load. The chest tightness, the feeling of wanting to “soft” it—that is the pressure building up inside because you're stuck between wanting to defend your name and not wanting to make things worse.

Let’s break this down in plain language.

First, you do not need to fix this today. Your brain is screaming for a resolution because the injustice feels like it's burning a hole in you. But when you are already struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression, your emotional fuel tank is almost empty. Pushing yourself into a confrontation right now—especially when the coach and server have already made up their story—can drain you further and put you in a position where you say something you regret or get even more hurt. The priority is your safety, not clearing your name with people who are not ready to listen. You can always come back to this later when you feel steadier.

Second, do not carry this alone. This is the kind of mess that makes you feel crazy because no one sees your side. A coach calling you fake and unreliable, a server twisting your words—it’s gaslighting, plain and simple. If you have one person in your life who you trust completely, tell them the full story, exactly as it happened. Not to fix it, just to have someone say “I believe you.” That alone can take some pressure off that chest. If you don’t have that person, write it down. Get it out of your head.

Third, consider stepping away from that club temporarily. Not forever, but for a few days or a week. Boxing is supposed to help your mental health, not destroy it. If that environment is now full of lies and tension, it’s not safe for you emotionally. You can find another place to train, even just for a while, or do push-ups at home. Your healing is more important than proving anything to that coach.

About the “soulmate” part—that sounds like the server manipulated the situation by telling the coach you were making personal advances, which made the coach even more suspicious of you. That’s a nasty, layered lie designed to make you look like the troublemaker. It’s no wonder you feel lost. But please know this: you are not the wrong person here. You walked in to get better, and someone slandered you. That is on them, not on you.

One practical thing: if you ever do want to confront, do it with a witness. Don’t go face-to-face alone with either of them again. And say your piece calmly: “Coach, I never said what he claims. I came here to train and to deal with my problems. I am disappointed you believed a lie without asking me.” Then walk away. You do not need to win that argument. You only need to protect your peace.

Zara is here to talk anytime, no matter how heavy your chest feels. You are not alone in this.