Zoya, the fear you're describing, where you constantly worry about your husband's outbursts and feel restricted, is a heavy burden to carry. It's important to know that what you're experiencing is not normal, and you don't have to accept living this way.
When someone you live with constantly shouts and tries to control your movements, it creates a very difficult and often frightening environment. This kind of behaviour, where you feel you're walking on eggshells, is a form of abuse. It's never your fault when someone chooses to act this way, and you deserve to feel safe and respected in your own home.
The constant fear you feel is a natural reaction to an unpredictable situation. Over time, living like this can deeply affect your peace of mind and your health. It can make you feel isolated and alone, especially when access to the outside world is limited, making it harder to find support.
While you navigate this, try to find small ways to care for yourself when you feel overwhelmed. When the fear rises, focus on your breath for a minute, counting slowly to ten, or find a quiet corner to collect your thoughts. These small moments of calm aren't a solution, but they can help you feel a little more centered in difficult moments.
Breaking the silence is a brave step. In our society, it's often hard to talk about these things because of family pressure or the fear of 'log kya kahenge.' However, finding just one person you deeply trust – perhaps a close sister, an aunt, or a very old friend – and confiding in them can be incredibly empowering. They might not have all the answers, but having someone listen without judgment can be a huge relief.
We understand that making big changes can be incredibly complicated in Pakistan, involving family, children, and financial concerns. No one expects you to 'just leave.' But talking through your situation, understanding your options, and having a safe space to explore possibilities can be a first step towards change. We are here to listen without judgment.
Remember, your feelings are valid, and you have the right to live without constant fear and control. Taking small steps to protect your peace of mind and seeking trusted support can make a difference.
Names and cities shown here are examples. Every question is published anonymously — we never ask for, store or show the name, city or contact details of the person who wrote it.
You don't have to work this out from an article. We're free, private, and here right now — in English, Urdu or Roman Urdu. No signup, no waiting, no judgement.
Other questions people asked about the same thing, answered the same way.