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Managing Worry for Family While Working Abroad

Answered 14 August 2024 at 12:56 pm PKT

It's completely normal to feel worried about your loved ones back home, especially your parents, when you're working far away. This page offers practical ways to manage those anxious thoughts so you can focus better and find peace.

I'm working in Dubai, but I constantly worry about my family back home, especially my ageing parents. I can't sleep thinking if they are okay, and these anxious thoughts are impacting my work.

Khalid, it takes a lot of courage and dedication to work abroad for your family, and it's absolutely natural for your heart to be constantly with them. Many Pakistanis working in places like Dubai experience the same deep concern for their ageing parents and family back in cities like Mirpur Khas. This worry isn't a sign of weakness; it shows how much you care, but when it starts to affect your sleep and work, it's time to find ways to manage it.

Your mind is trying to protect your family by constantly checking in and replaying scenarios. This constant state of alert can be exhausting, making it hard to relax or concentrate. The sleeplessness you're experiencing is your body reacting to this heightened state of anxiety, and it's a common symptom when your mind won't switch off.

One very effective strategy is to establish a predictable communication routine. Instead of constantly checking your phone or calling multiple times a day, agree on a specific time each day or every other day when you will call your parents. This creates a sense of security for both you and them. They know when to expect your call, and you know you'll get your update, allowing you to focus on your work during other hours. Make these calls quality time – really listen to their day, share a bit of yours, and avoid just quick check-ins.

Another practical step is to empower a trusted family member or a close, reliable neighbour in Mirpur Khas. Speak to a cousin, an aunt, or a family friend who lives nearby and ask if they would be willing to check in on your parents physically once or twice a week, or to be a point of contact if anything urgent comes up. This way, you're not the only one responsible for their immediate oversight, and it can ease your mind knowing there's a local presence who can provide updates or assistance if needed. This also helps with the community aspect, as 'log kya kahenge' can sometimes make people hesitant to ask for help, but involving a close family member is often seen as a sensible way to ensure elders are looked after.

When anxious thoughts hit you, especially at night or while you're trying to work, try a simple grounding exercise. Focus on your breathing: inhale slowly for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale slowly for eight. Repeat this a few times. Or, try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel (like your clothes on your skin), 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This helps pull your mind back to the present moment and away from overwhelming worries.

Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it's essential. If you're not sleeping well or can't focus at work, it impacts your ability to support your family effectively. By managing your anxiety, you're becoming stronger and more resilient, which ultimately benefits everyone. Your parents want you to be healthy and successful, and finding ways to manage this worry is a part of that journey.

These feelings are tough, Khalid, but you're not alone in experiencing them. By implementing these small, consistent changes, you can start to feel more in control and reduce the burden of constant worry. Give these steps a try this week, and observe how they make a difference.

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