Feeling like your parents prefer a sibling can be a deeply painful and confusing experience. Many people in Pakistan, especially those with brothers, share these feelings of sadness and dejection.
Usman, it's incredibly brave of you to share such a personal and painful feeling. What you're experiencing – feeling like your parents love your younger brother more and that you can't make them happy – is a common source of sadness for many people, especially in our family structures. Please know that these feelings are valid, and you are not alone in feeling this way.
First, understand that this feeling likely has very little to do with your own worth or what you've done wrong. Sometimes, parents might unconsciously treat children differently due to personality differences, birth order, or even societal expectations. It's not a reflection of your inherent value as a son or as a person.
Instead of constantly trying to "khush karna" (make happy) your parents, shift your focus to what makes *you* happy and fulfilled. Your self-worth should not depend on their approval. Start by identifying your own strengths, talents, and passions, independent of what your family thinks.
Invest your energy into building your own life and identity. This means pursuing your hobbies, focusing on your career or studies, and nurturing friendships and other relationships where you feel truly seen, appreciated, and loved for who you are. These connections can provide immense emotional support.
It might also be helpful to observe your parents' actions without immediately assuming negative intent. Sometimes, love is expressed in different ways, or they might be unaware of how their actions are affecting you. However, it's also okay to acknowledge that sometimes the preference is real, and it hurts. You don't have to pretend it doesn't.
Finally, be kind to yourself. It's perfectly normal to feel sad and dejected when you experience something like this. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Remember, your value is intrinsic; you are worthy of love and happiness simply because you exist, not because of anyone else's approval.
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