Agar aap nikah se pehle kisi larkay se muhabbat mein phans kar kabhi us se nafrat aur kabhi bohat mohabbat mehsoos karti hain, to yeh uljhan akele bardasht karna mushkil ho sakta hai. Is mazmoon mein gunah ka ehsas, apni hifazat, sarhadein aur talooq ko ahista qadmon mein khatam ya kam karne ke tareeqay bayan kiye jayenge.
Main us larkay se muhabbat karti hoon jis ke aane ke baad meri zindagi bohat mutasir hui hai. Kabhi us se shadeed nafrat hoti hai aur kabhi bohat muhabbat; main baat chhorna chahti hoon magar nahi chor paati. Nikah se pehle baat karna mujhe gunah lagta hai, lekin main usay chot diye baghair is uljhan se nikalna chahti hoon.
Aap ko abhi muhabbat ya nafrat mein se koi ek jazba chunne ki zaroorat nahi; pehle is talluq mein thora faasla aur wazeh sarhad chahiye. Roz baat karte rehna aur phir guilt feel karna aap ki uljhan barhata hai.
Agar aap ke nazdeek nikah se pehle private baat karna gunah hai, to apni deeni qeemat ko samjhoti rahen. Lekin us larkay ko chot na lagna aap ke sar poora bojh nahi—us ke jazbaat sambhalna sirf aap ki zimmedari nahi.
Agar woh waqai serious hai, to saaf kahen: “Mujhe thora waqt aur sukoon chahiye. Main filhal private baat nahi karungi. Agar aap nikah ka serious irada rakhte hain to apne ghar walon ke zariye baat karein; warna humein ye silsila khatam karna chahiye.” Phir kuch arsay ke liye messages, calls aur emotional debates band rakhein.
Us ke baad dekhein ke aap ko sukoon mil raha hai ya uljhan aur barh rahi hai. Agar mustaqbil ka wazeh irada nahi, to izzat se khatam karna dono ke liye behtar hai. Agar serious nikah ka irada hai, to family involvement ke baghair secret relationship na chalayen.
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