Sana, it's completely understandable to feel stressed and suffocated when your parents are pushing you for marriage. This is a very common challenge many young people face in Pakistan, and your feelings are valid.
Your parents likely come from a place of love and concern for your future, even if their methods feel overwhelming. They might be worried about societal expectations, your security, or simply want to see you settled. Understanding their perspective, even if you don't agree with it, can sometimes help you approach the conversation with more patience.
Choose a calm moment to have an open and honest conversation with them. Instead of just saying 'I'm not ready,' try to explain *why* you're not ready and what your current priorities are. Share your personal goals, whether they involve your career, further education, or simply needing more time to grow into the person you want to be before taking such a big step.
It can also be helpful to involve a trusted elder or relative who your parents respect and who understands your point of view. Sometimes, a supportive aunt, uncle, or grandparent can mediate the conversation and help your parents see things from your perspective, making them more open to listening.
Show them that you are building a meaningful life for yourself right now. Instead of seeing you as someone 'waiting' to get married, help them see you as an independent individual actively pursuing your aspirations. Discuss your achievements, your future plans, and how you envision your life unfolding in the coming years. This can ease their worries about your well-being.
Address their concerns about 'log kya kahenge' (what will people say) by reassuring them that you are not rejecting the idea of marriage forever, but simply asking for more time. You could suggest a timeframe, even if it's a few years, to show that you are thinking about it, but need this period to achieve specific personal milestones. This can make the delay feel less indefinite to them.
Finally, gently set boundaries around the discussions and any potential proposals. You can ask them to slow down the process, or only consider proposals that genuinely align with certain values or criteria you might have. Remember, you have a right to your own timeline and to feel prepared for such a significant life decision.
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