It sounds like you're going through a very difficult time, and feeling trapped and scared is a heavy burden to carry. It's important to know that these feelings are valid, and you deserve to feel safe and respected in your marriage.
What you are describing – a husband who shouts for small things and controls all the money – is not a normal or healthy part of a marriage. It is a form of control and can be very damaging to your well-being. Please understand that this is not your fault, and you do not have to accept this behavior.
Financial control, where one person has all the money and the other has none, can make you feel powerless and trapped. You have a right to know about your household finances and to have some financial independence. Even if it feels impossible now, try to find a small way to have some control over money. Could you set aside a very small amount from household expenses without him noticing? Or perhaps find a way to earn a tiny income from home, like stitching, tutoring, or selling something small, just for yourself?
Constant shouting can erode your confidence and make you feel constantly on edge. When he starts to shout, it can be helpful to protect yourself emotionally. Sometimes, walking away calmly to another room for a few minutes, or focusing on your breathing can help you avoid reacting in the moment. Remember, his anger is not a reflection of your worth.
You don't have to carry this burden alone. It's incredibly brave to even ask this question. Think about one person you trust deeply – a sister, a very close friend, a mother, or a kind elder. Someone who will listen without judgment and support you, not tell you what to do. Sharing your feelings with one trusted person can bring a lot of relief and help you see your situation more clearly.
Many women in Pakistan face similar challenges due to cultural pressures and societal expectations, making it hard to speak up or consider alternatives. Leaving a marriage is a complex decision, especially with children or limited financial resources, and it's not something to take lightly. But thinking about your options and safety is crucial.
We understand how complicated situations like yours can be. Talking to Zara at depression.pk could be a safe, confidential space for you to discuss your feelings and explore your thoughts without any pressure. She can help you think through potential steps and resources privately, at your own pace.
Please remember, you deserve kindness, respect, and safety in your home. These behaviors are not acceptable, and you have the right to seek a life where you feel valued and secure.
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