This page explains how to respond to childhood sexual abuse involving a cousin or religious figure, including when threats are used to keep it secret. It covers shame, fear, safety, speaking up, and finding trusted help in Pakistan.
I was sexually harassed by a religious figure for years as a child, and I was also in a sexual relationship with my cousin. When I tried to stop it, he threatened to tell everyone, and I am asking how to deal with the shame, fear, and loneliness, and whether I should stay silent or speak up.
What happened to you was not your fault, and the shame belongs to the people who harmed you, not to you. You were a child, and a child cannot consent. The religious figure and your cousin both abused their power and your trust. You do not have to decide today whether to speak up publicly — what matters first is that you are not alone with this.
The feeling that you did something wrong is a common result of abuse, especially when the abuser is someone respected or a family member. But a child who is manipulated, threatened, or forced into a sexual situation is never the one at fault. The religious figure used his position to harm you. Your cousin used threats to control you. That is the truth, no matter what your mind tells you.
You do not owe anyone your story. Some people find relief in telling a trusted person — a friend, a therapist, or a helpline where you can remain anonymous. Others need years before they can say it aloud. Both are okay. The only person you must be honest with is yourself: you are not protecting anyone by staying silent. You are surviving. If you ever decide to speak, do it for your own healing, not because you feel pressured.
Isolation makes the shame worse. There are therapists in Pakistan who specialise in childhood sexual abuse and trauma — they will not judge you, and they understand the family and cultural pressures you are up against. You can also talk to Zara here, anytime, without giving your name. The most important thing you can do right now is to find one person, even a stranger on a helpline, who will listen without telling you what to do. You deserve to be heard, not silenced.
If you have access to a private phone or a moment alone, call a trained listener at the Rozan helpline (they are listed on our crisis page) or talk to Zara. You do not have to tell them everything at once — just say "something happened when I was a child and I feel alone." That is enough. They will not ask for details unless you want to share. And please, do not try to confront the religious figure or your cousin. Your safety comes first.
Names and cities shown here are examples. Every question is published anonymously — we never ask for, store or show the name, city or contact details of the person who wrote it.
You deserve real support this moment. These lines are free, confidential, and trained to help. In immediate danger, call emergency services — 🇵🇰 1122.
You don't have to work this out from an article. We're free, private, and here right now — in English, Urdu or Roman Urdu. No signup, no waiting, no judgement.
Other questions people asked about the same thing, answered the same way.