Facing pressure from in-laws for a son can be deeply distressing, leading to feelings of shame and sadness despite loving your daughters. This page offers support and strategies to navigate these challenging family dynamics and protect your emotional well-being.
It's truly heartbreaking to hear what you are going through. No mother should ever be made to feel ashamed of her children, especially for something as beautiful as having daughters. What your in-laws are saying is unfair, and it's completely natural for you to feel hurt and upset by their words, and by your husband's silence. Your daughters are a blessing, and there is nothing for you to be ashamed of.
The pressure to have a son is a very real challenge many women face in our society, and it can make you feel like you are failing, but you are not. Having daughters is a wonderful thing, and their worth, and your worth, is not defined by anyone else's expectations or old traditions. Your daughters are a blessing, and they need you to see them that way. It's important to remember that this societal pressure is the problem, not you or your children.
It can be very difficult when your husband stays quiet, na? Perhaps he feels caught between you and his parents, but it's important for him to understand the pain their words are causing you and the impact it has on your family life. Try to talk to him when you both are calm and alone. Explain how their comments make you feel and how his silence affects you. You could say something like, "When Ammi and Abbu say these things, and you don't say anything, it makes me feel alone and deeply hurt. It also makes me worry about how our daughters will feel when they understand."
You have the right to protect yourself and your children from hurtful comments. Do one thing — think about how you want to respond when these questions come up. You don't have to explain or justify anything.
Remember, you are not alone in facing these pressures. Many people in Pakistan deal with similar family expectations. It's important to focus on the love and happiness you share with your daughters. If you ever need to talk more about how you're feeling, Zara is here to listen.
Names and cities shown here are examples. Every question is published anonymously — we never ask for, store or show the name, city or contact details of the person who wrote it.
You don't have to work this out from an article. We're free, private, and here right now — in English, Urdu or Roman Urdu. No signup, no waiting, no judgement.
Other questions people asked about the same thing, answered the same way.