It's incredibly tough when you feel like you're not good enough, and it's even harder to accept praise when you don't believe it yourself. Many women experience these feelings, and you are absolutely not alone in this.
Rabia, feeling like you're 'kisi kaam ki nahi hoon' is a very painful experience, and it's understandable that you struggle to believe compliments when you feel this way. Please know that this feeling does not reflect your true value.
Often, these deep-seated feelings of not being good enough come from years of internalising negative messages, whether from others around us or from our own harsh self-criticism. It's a common struggle, especially for women in our society who face many expectations and societal pressures.
A good first step is to start noticing the small things you do well every day. Maybe you manage your home efficiently, you are kind to others, you make delicious chai, or you are a good listener. Try to write down three things you did well, no matter how small, at the end of each day.
When a thought like 'I am useless' comes to your mind, pause and gently ask yourself if it's truly 100% accurate. Can you find even one piece of evidence against it? Often, these thoughts are old habits or echoes of what someone else might have said, not actual facts about who you are.
Dedicate a little time each week to something you enjoy or want to learn, even if it's just 15 minutes. It could be reading a book, gardening, learning a simple craft, or trying a new recipe. Achieving small goals, even personal ones, can slowly build your sense of capability and worth.
Identify one or two people in your life who genuinely uplift you and see your good qualities. Spend more time with them and notice how you feel afterwards. Sometimes, hearing genuine encouragement from those who care can help us start to see ourselves differently, even if it feels strange at first.
When someone gives you a compliment, try to just say 'thank you' instead of immediately dismissing it or arguing with it. You don't have to believe it fully yet, but just allow the words to be heard without argument. It's a small but powerful step towards letting positive input in.
Names and cities shown here are examples. Every question is published anonymously — we never ask for, store or show the name, city or contact details of the person who wrote it.
You don't have to work this out from an article. We're free, private, and here right now — in English, Urdu or Roman Urdu. No signup, no waiting, no judgement.
Other questions people asked about the same thing, answered the same way.