Dealing with Abusive Brother and Body Shaming at Home in Pakistan

That sounds unbearable, and you are not exaggerating when you say it feels like jail. Living with constant verbal abuse, physical violence, and body shaming from the people who are supposed to protect you is genuinely hard. None of this is your fault, and you do not deserve any of it — not the fighting, not the shaming, not the fear.

What you can do for yourself right now

• Find one small safe space. This could be a locked bathroom, a corner of your room, a friend’s house you can visit, or even a quiet spot in a local library or park. Even fifteen minutes away from the noise can help you breathe.
• Keep a single trusted person outside your home. A friend, a cousin, a teacher, or a neighbour you can quietly message when things get bad. You do not have to tell them everything — just knowing someone knows you are there can make a difference.
• Protect your phone. If there is any chance your brother or parents check your phone, do not save notes, recordings, or messages that could put you in danger. Memorise a helpline number or write it somewhere they will not find.

About the body shaming

Your parents may say these things as if they are normal, but they are not. You are not the problem. Your body is not the problem. What they say to you says everything about them and nothing about you. If you can, try to remind yourself of this every time it happens — even if it does not stop the hurt right away.

What to do when it gets physically dangerous

If your brother becomes physically violent, your priority is your safety, not his anger. If you can leave the room or the house safely, do that. If you cannot, try to put something solid between you and him — a door, a table. After the immediate danger passes, the most important thing is to tell someone you trust — a relative, a teacher, or a helpline. You do not have to decide anything permanent right now. Just let someone else know what happened.

You are not alone in this, and help exists. Our Zara companion is here to talk whenever you need someone to listen, and you can also find a professional who understands your situation through the find-help page. You deserve safety and kindness, and it is not weak to ask for help — it is how you survive.