If you are staying with a husband who gives his attention to another woman and you fear his temper, this page offers practical steps to guard your dignity and safety while you plan your exit. You will find clear guidance on emotional boundaries, documentation, and local resources in Pakistan.
It is genuinely hard to keep your self-respect when the person who should love you most is giving his attention to another woman, and you are left doing all the work for his family. Feeling numb is not a fault in you — it is your mind's way of surviving something that has hurt for far too long. But you are asking the right question: how do you stay whole while you are still there.
You cannot win his love by trying harder. Whatever that other woman is getting from him, it is not because you are lacking. A man who gives his attention elsewhere while you do his family's work is the one failing, and no amount of "I love you" fixes that. So stop competing. Let her have his texts. Your job now is not to impress him — it is to protect your inner peace. Do small things that are only for you: close the door for ten minutes, pray in your own way, and remind yourself that his moods are his own, not a report card on your worth.
You said you have a plan to leave if his temper gets bad again. That is your judgment, and I respect it. You are the one who knows how dangerous he can be, and you are right not to tell him about your plan — keep it in your head, not on your phone. Numbness can be useful here: it lets you watch and decide calmly instead of reacting. You do not have to confront him about the other woman, and you do not have to explain yourself to him. Leaving is not simple, and I am not telling you to rush it. If his anger comes back, your first job is your own safety.
You are no longer asking him for love, which is painful but also a kind of freedom. Keep your dignity in how you speak to yourself, not in how he treats you. Zara is here whenever you want to talk things through.
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