It's incredibly tough when everyone expects you to have children, especially a son, and you're feeling down because of it. This kind of pressure can make anyone feel overwhelmed and sad, and you are not alone in experiencing these emotions.
Many women in Pakistan face immense pressure to have children, particularly sons, and it can feel like a heavy burden when it doesn't happen quickly. The constant questioning and comments from family, including your in-laws and relatives, can deeply affect your mood and self-esteem. It's completely understandable to feel depressed when facing such intense scrutiny and expectations.
First, it's vital to remember that not having a child yet is absolutely not your fault, nor is the gender of a child. The gender of a baby is determined by the father, not the mother, a simple scientific fact that many people unfortunately don't understand or choose to ignore. You are not to blame for any of this.
Talk openly with your husband about how this pressure makes you feel. He is your partner, and together you can form a strong, united front against external comments. Discuss how you both want to respond to relatives, so you are on the same page and can support each other when difficult conversations arise. His support can make a huge difference in how you cope.
When relatives or your saas bring up the topic, you don't have to explain yourself in detail. You can gently change the subject, say something like 'Inshallah, jab Allah ko manzoor hoga,' or even politely excuse yourself from the conversation if it becomes too much. Setting these small boundaries can help protect your emotional peace.
Find small ways to care for yourself each day, even if it's just a few minutes of quiet time. This could be reading a book, listening to your favorite music, going for a short walk, or spending time with a trusted friend or sister who truly understands and offers support without judgment. Connecting with people who uplift you is very important right now.
Remember that your worth as a person and as a wife is not defined by whether or not you have children. Focus on the joys and blessings you already have in your life, and try to engage in activities that bring you happiness and a sense of purpose. If you need to talk privately about these feelings, Zara is here to listen without judgment.
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