Sadia, we hear you. Feeling anxious and pressured when family and relatives constantly comment on your marital status is incredibly difficult, and it's a feeling many women in Pakistan deeply understand.
It's completely normal to feel worried and wonder about your future when you're facing such intense scrutiny. The weight of expectations from our community and the constant 'log kya kahenge' can feel suffocating, making you question your worth.
Please know that your value as a person is not tied to whether you are married or not, or the age at which it happens. Your intelligence, kindness, resilience, and all your strengths define you, not someone else's timeline for your life.
When relatives pass hurtful comments, it's hard to ignore them. While you can't control what they say, you can try to control your reaction. Sometimes, a calm, simple response like 'Jab Allah ko manzoor hoga' or changing the subject can subtly set a boundary. You might also try to limit your time with people who consistently bring you down, or confide in one family member who genuinely supports you.
Instead of letting these worries consume you, try to shift your focus to what brings you joy and fulfillment right now. Is there a hobby you've always wanted to pursue, a skill you want to learn, or a personal goal you can work towards? Investing in yourself – your education, career, friendships, or well-being – can build confidence and remind you of all your strengths.
It's true that in our society, there can be a strong emphasis on marrying young, but life paths are diverse. Many people find happiness and companionship at different stages of their lives, and there's no single 'right' age for marriage. Your journey is unique, and it's okay for it to unfold in its own time.
When the ghabrahat becomes overwhelming, try simple grounding techniques. Take a few deep breaths, focusing on the air entering and leaving your body. Go for a short walk, listen to soothing music, or engage in an activity that distracts you positively. These small steps can help manage the anxiety.
You don't have to carry this burden alone. If you feel comfortable, talk to a trusted friend, a supportive cousin, or even a sibling who understands. Sharing your feelings can lighten the load, and remember, focusing on your own peace and well-being is the most important step you can take right now.
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