Feeling alone when your partner withdraws after an argument can be incredibly painful. Many people struggle with communication in their relationships, and it's brave to seek help for it.
Saima, what you're describing, where your husband stops talking for days after a fight, is often called the 'silent treatment'. It's a very hurtful way to deal with conflict and it's completely understandable that you feel alone and disconnected in your marriage because of it. It's not your fault, and you deserve to be heard and to feel connected.
Therapy, especially couples counselling, can definitely teach you both healthier ways to communicate and resolve conflict. A therapist helps you understand each other's perspectives and express needs without shutting down. However, for therapy to work, both partners usually need to be willing to participate and open to change, which can sometimes be a challenge to suggest in our society due to stigma or cost.
If talking about therapy feels difficult right now, you can start by focusing on what you *can* control. When things are calm, try to express how you feel using "I" statements, like, "Jab aap laraai ke baad mujhse baat nahi karte, toh mujhe bohat akela aur dukhi mehsoos hota hai." This helps share your feelings without sounding accusatory.
Choose a moment when you're both relaxed, not during or immediately after a fight, to discuss this pattern. You could say, "Humari communication ka tareeqa mujhe pareshan karta hai. Kya hum is baare mein baat kar sakte hain?" If he's unwilling, or if it feels too big to tackle alone, consider talking to a trusted family elder or a close, wise friend who might be able to offer a neutral perspective or mediate a conversation.
While you work through this, it's also important to build your own support system. Connect with friends or family who make you feel good, pursue hobbies, or take time for yourself. This can help you feel less alone and more resilient, no matter what happens in the marriage. Remember, your mental peace is important.
Changing long-standing communication patterns takes time and patience from both sides. Keep trying to open those lines of communication, and remember that you deserve a relationship where you feel heard and valued.
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