You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed by family manipulation and religious guilt. This page provides immediate crisis resources and compassionate steps to help you stay safe in Pakistan.
Aap are in a lot of pain, and that is genuinely hard. You are not going crazy, and you are not alone in this. Many people feel this way, and there is help available.
Your family's behaviour is making you feel trapped, and the constant pressure is making you feel like there is no way out. This is not your fault, and it is not something you have to bear alone. It is understandable that you feel guilty for feeling far from your religion, but this guilt is making your pain worse, and it is not helping you.
If you are feeling suicidal, it is important to get help right away. You can talk to Zara, or you can go to a hospital or a mental health professional. You are not alone, and there is help available.
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