Salma, aapne bilkul sahi pehchana. Ek rishte mein rabta tootna ya kam hona, khaas kar shadi mein, kisi gham se kam nahi hota. Yeh ehsaas ke aap apne shohar se door ho rahi hain, bohot takleef-deh aur tanha kar dene wala ho sakta hai.
Yeh mehsoos karna ke aapka shohar aapse baat nahi karta, ya yeh ke aap dono ke darmiyan fasla barh raha hai, bilkul aisa hi hai jaise aap kuch kho rahi hain. Bohat se log is situation se guzarte hain jahan shadi mein communication kam ho jati hai, aur is wajah se rishte mein tanhai ka ehsaas paida hota hai.
Pehle toh yeh yaad rakhen ke yeh aapki ghalti nahi hai. Rishte do logon se bante hain aur dono ko koshish karni hoti hai. Jab communication rukti hai, toh iski kayi wajah ho sakti hain, jin mein se kuch ka aap se koi talluq nahi hota. Lekin aap kuch qadam utha sakti hain jo shayad is fasle ko kam karne mein madad karen.
Ek tareeqa yeh hai ke aap choti choti baton se shuruat karen. Ho sakta hai ke bade maslon par baat karna mushkil ho, toh pehle din bhar ki mamooli baton par tawajjo den. Jaise, 'Aaj aapka din kaisa guzra?' ya 'Aaj khane mein kya pasand karenge?' Aisay sawal poochhen jin ka jawab sirf 'haan' ya 'na' na ho, balkay un mein thodi tafseel ki gunjaish ho. Koshish karen ke yeh baat cheet sawal jawab jaisi na lage, balkay ek dostana andaz mein ho.
Dusra, un waqton ko pehchanen jab aapke shohar shayad baat karne ke liye ziyada tayyar hon. Misal ke taur par, jab woh kaam se thak kar aaye hon, toh shayad woh baat nahi karna chahenge. Lekin raat ko jab sab so jayen, ya subah nashte par, ho sakta hai unka mood thoda behtar ho. Aise waqt ka intikhab karen jab aap dono akele hon aur distractions kam hon.
Teesra, apne ehsasat ka izhar karen, lekin ilzam lagane se gurez karen. 'Aap mujhse baat nahi karte' kehne ki bajaye, 'Mujhe thoda tanha mehsoos hota hai jab hum baat nahi karte' ya 'Mujhe aap se baat karna bohot pasand hai, isse mujhe acha lagta hai' jaise jumle istemal karen. Is tarah aap unko apni takleef ka ehsas dilayengi bagair unko defensive kiye.
Aap yeh bhi soch sakti hain ke kya koi aisi activity hai jo aap dono mil kar kar sakte hain? Jaise, shaam ko thodi der TV dekhna, ya saath baith kar chai peena, ya halki phulki sair karna. Kabhi kabhi bagair baat kiye saath waqt guzarna bhi rishte ko mazboot karta hai aur phir ahista ahista baat cheet khud ba khud shuru ho jati hai. Aur agar aapko kisi se mazeed baat karni ho, toh aap Zara se raazdari mein baat kar sakti hain.
Yaad rakhen, rishton ko behtar banane mein waqt lagta hai aur yeh ek mustaqil koshish hai. Apne liye bhi meherban rahen aur apni hifazat ka khayal rakhen.
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