Yeh page aapko samjhayega ke aap kyun mehsoos karte hain ke aap hi sab kuch sort karein, aur agar nahi karte to ignore kar diye jate hain. Hum baat karenge self-esteem, apni feelings ki ahmiyat, aur boundaries set karne ke tareeqon ke baare mein.
Aapki feelings ka bilkul wajood hai, aur yeh sochna ke aapko hi sab kuch karna hai, yeh bohat aam baat hai—lekin iska matlab yeh nahi ke aapki feelings ghalat hain. Jab aap lagate hain ke aap hi sab kuch karte hain, to iska matlab yeh nahi ke aapki feelings ka koi wujood nahi, balki yeh hota hai ke aap apne aap ko itna zyada de rahe hain ke doosron ki zaroorat ko nazarandaz kar rahe hain. Yeh aksar is liye hota hai ke humein lagta hai ke agar hum na karein to kaam ruk jayega, ya log humein tab hi yaad rakhte hain jab kaam hota hai.
Jab aap lagate hain ke aapko ignore kiya jata hai, to yeh is liye ho sakta hai ke aap apni mehsoosaat ko apne kaamon se jod rahe hain. Aap sochte hain ke agar main kaam karun to log mujhse pyaar karenge, aur agar na karun to main koi nahi hoon. Yeh ek aisa pattern hai jo bohat logon mein hota hai, khaas kar ke jab hum bachpan se seekhte hain ke apni zaroorat ko peeche rakhna hi theek hai. Lekin yeh aap par zyada kaam ka boojh daal raha hai, aur phir aapko lagta hai ke koi aapki qadr nahi karta.
Pehla qadam yeh hai ke aap apni feelings ko dabayen nahi, balki unhe maanein. Yeh kehna ke "mujhe laga ke main hi sab kuch karun" apne aap ko behtar mehsoos karta hai, lekin asli hal yah hai ke aapko apni haddiyan pehchan ni hoti. Doosra qadam yeh hai ke aap ek baar soch kar dekhein: kya aapne kabhi doosron se madad maangi hai? Aksar hum sochte hain ke madad maangna kamzori hai, lekin yeh bilkul bhi nahi. Teesra, aap apne aap se yeh pooch sakte hain ke "agar main aaj kuch na karun, to kya hoga?"—aur phir dekhein ke kya woh soch sach mein itni buri hai.
Aapki feelings ka koi wajood hai, aur unhe maanna seekhna ek aisi cheez hai jo aapko khud ko aur doosron ko behtar samajhne mein madad karegi. Yeh zaroori nahi ke aap sab kuch khud karein—yeh zaroori hai ke aap apni zaroorat ko pehchanein aur us par amal karein. Zara se baat karna chahein, to woh yahan hai, hamesha aapki sunne ke liye.
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