Making Friends in College When You Feel Shy

Iqra, know that you are not alone in feeling this way. Starting college is a big change, and it takes time to find your footing and connect with people. That feeling of social anxiety is a common hurdle, but it's something you can work through with small, manageable steps.

Instead of trying to instantly make a 'best friend,' focus on making small, positive interactions. A friendly smile, a simple 'Assalamu Alaikum,' or a quick 'How was the last lecture?' can be a great start. These low-pressure moments help you get used to talking to people without the weight of needing to become instant friends.

Think about what you enjoy or what classes you're taking. Joining a study group, a college club (like a literary society, sports team, or debating club), or even volunteering for a college event gives you a natural reason to interact with others who share your interests. This common ground makes starting conversations much easier, as you already have something to talk about.

When you do talk to someone, try to show genuine interest. Ask open-ended questions like, 'What did you think of that assignment?' or 'How are you finding this course?' People generally appreciate it when you listen actively. You don't need to dominate the conversation; sometimes just being a good listener is enough to build a connection.

It's helpful to remember that many other students are probably feeling just as nervous as you are about making friends. When you feel that wave of anxiety, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s okay to feel a bit awkward. Focus on the moment, not on what you think others might be thinking of you. Most people are more concerned with themselves than judging others.

Building friendships takes time and effort, so be patient and kind to yourself throughout this process. Not every interaction will lead to a close bond, and that's perfectly fine. Some days might feel easier than others, and that's also normal. Keep putting yourself out there in small ways, and gradually, you will find people you connect with.

Don't let the fear of 'log kya kahenge' stop you from reaching out. Your college years are a wonderful opportunity to grow and meet new people who will support you. Start by aiming for one small interaction this week – maybe just asking a classmate a question about the syllabus – and build from there.