Moving to a new city for studies and not knowing anyone can be incredibly tough, and it's completely normal to feel a deep sense of loneliness. Many young people experience this when they leave home, and it can make you want to withdraw even more.
Hassan, the feeling of akelapan you're describing is very real and understandable. It's a big change, and it takes time and effort to build a new social circle. When you feel lonely, it's also common for your motivation to talk to people to drop, creating a difficult cycle.
First, know that it's not your fault you feel this way. Making friends isn't always easy, especially when you're in a new environment and might be feeling shy or low on energy. The good news is there are small, manageable steps you can take to start building connections.
Think about the places you already go. Your university classes, the library, or your hostel common room are great starting points. You already share a common purpose with the people there. Try to make eye contact and offer a simple 'Salam' or a smile to someone sitting nearby.
Look for opportunities to connect over shared activities. Ask a classmate about an assignment, offer to share notes, or suggest forming a small study group. These small interactions can often lead to more relaxed conversations about other things, like where they're from or their studies.
Beyond academics, see if your university has any clubs, sports teams, or societies – even if you just attend an introductory meeting. If not, consider local community spaces. For many young men, the local masjid can also be a place to meet people from your neighbourhood or university, especially after prayers.
It’s not about finding a best friend overnight. Focus on being open to short, friendly interactions. Some people might not connect with you, and that's okay. Don't take it personally; just keep trying. Building friendships takes time and a little courage, but each small step can make a difference.
Be patient and kind to yourself through this process. You're doing something brave by moving for your studies, and it's natural to need time to adjust. Keep putting yourself out there in small ways, and slowly but surely, you'll start to build those connections.
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