Rubina, it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and anxious when you're pregnant again after experiencing miscarriages, especially with family pressure. Many women in Pakistan face similar worries and expectations, and we want you to know you're not alone in these feelings.
Having miscarriages in the past makes this pregnancy a very delicate time for your heart and mind. That constant fear that something might go wrong again is a natural protective instinct, but it can also be exhausting. Please remember that miscarriages are rarely anyone's fault; they are often the body's way of dealing with issues outside of your control, and they do not reflect on your worth or ability.
The pressure from your in-laws for a son adds another heavy layer to your stress. It's important to internalise that the gender of a baby is determined by the father's contribution, not the mother's, and it's certainly not something you can control or choose. Your value as a woman and a mother is not, and should never be, tied to the gender of your child.
For the anxiety you feel daily, try to find small moments of calm. Simple deep breathing exercises can help a lot: inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Do this a few times whenever you feel a wave of fear. Also, try to engage in gentle activities you enjoy, like listening to calming music or Quranic recitation, or taking a short, peaceful walk if you can.
When faced with comments or pressure from family, you don't always have to engage in a long discussion. Sometimes, a gentle but firm, 'Inshallah, Allah jo behtar hoga wahi denge' (God will give what is best, God willing) or simply changing the topic can help deflect unwanted advice. Your priority right now is your peace and the health of your baby, not managing everyone else's expectations.
Make sure you are regularly seeing your doctor and openly share your fears and anxieties with them. They can offer reassurance about your physical health. Beyond that, try to confide in one trusted person, perhaps your mother, a sister, or a close friend, who can listen without judgment and offer emotional support. Sharing your worries can lighten the load you carry.
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