This is not weakness

People around you have probably started saying move on, it has been months, he was not worth it. And you have probably started wondering what is wrong with you. Nothing is. Losing a person you were attached to sets off the same systems in the brain as physical pain and as withdrawal, which is exactly why it feels like both.

That also explains the part that embarrasses you most: wanting to contact someone who hurt you. That is not a character flaw, it is a craving, and cravings are handled with a plan rather than with shame.

The honest page

1. Write down what actually happened, plainly. No defending them, no attacking yourself.
2. Write what you miss. The real things - a particular time of day, being asked how your day went, feeling chosen.
3. Write what you do not miss. Be honest here too; there is always something.
4. Keep the page. You will read it on day 14.