Anxiety Over Forced Engagement: Coping Without Family Support

That is genuinely hard, and the sleeplessness and emptiness you are describing are what happen when a person is carrying grief and fear at the same time. You are not failing at marriage before it has begun — you are reacting normally to being pushed into something you never chose. Anyone in your position would feel the floor drop out from under them.

When the people who should protect you keep saying you will fail, it stings twice: you lose the thing they are criticising, and you lose them as shelter. Their words are not a truth about you. They are scared of what people will say, and they are handing that fear to you. Their fear is not your fate.

A small way through the worry

• Give the worry a place: write it down before sleeping, every thought, on paper, and close the book. It tells your mind the thought is kept somewhere and can wait till morning.
• Once a night, slow your breathing for two minutes — breathe in for four counts, out for six. It sounds small, but it is the fastest way to tell your body it is safe right now.
• Pick one tiny thing you still enjoy, even a fraction of it — a cup of tea made slowly, a walk, a show. Do it even if it feels flat. Flat still counts.

You leaving your degree is a real loss, not a small thing. It cannot be undone overnight, but a degree is not the only road to a life of your own. Women in Pakistan restart education later, learn skills from home, and build independence piece by piece. The door is closed for now, not welded shut.

Where support can come from

You feel alone because the people in your house are not supporting you, not because support does not exist. There may be one cousin, one aunt, one teacher who would listen without judging — look for that one person. And Zara is a companion from our team, here whenever you need to say any of this out loud, at any hour. You do not have to carry all of it in your head at two in the morning.

An engagement is not a verdict on your whole life. This moment is awful and heavy, but it is not the end of your story — you have time, and you have more strength than the people around you are giving you credit for. Tonight, just get through tonight. Come back to the rest tomorrow.